Defective Logic E = MC Hammer

Making Board Games Fun Again

There are a lot of adults I know that haven’t found board games enjoyable since they were very young.  These are the guys you see with their girlfriends begging them to play Monopoly.  A lot of grown men can’t stand board games, and I’d hate to say it, but I’m no different.  Having to sit through Monopoly, rolling dice and landing on random spaces while money haphazardly gets passed back and forth between players, well, that just doesn’t sound fun to me.

What I’ve come to realize in recent years is: If you think board games are boring, you’re playing the wrong ones.  I, myself, bore easily.  It takes a greater level of involvement and strategy to get me interested in a board game.  I am not content to play Monopoly, Sorry, or the Game of Life.  As a child, I was partial to Clue.  However, I find my adult self scoffing at the premise.  You’re searching an old mansion for clues to solve a murder. In the end it could turn out that you were trying to solve a murder YOU committed. I don’t know about you, but if I just bludgeoned some poor bastard to death in the ballroom with a candlestick, I wouldn’t be poking around the crime scene trying to figure out who did it. I’d be in Mexico sipping margaritas and trying to figure out how to legally change my name from Professor Plum to something cool like Xander El Durado.

So what game should you play?  It just so happens I have a list…

Settlers of Catan
3-4 players, ages 10 and up

If you haven’t played Settlers of Catan, boy are you missing out.  This is what a lot of board-gamers that I have met consider a “gateway boardgame”.  In other words, this is the game you buy if you are trying to convince Milton-Bradley board-gamers that there is fun in games they have never heard of.  I’m mentioning this game first, not because it is the best, but because it is the first game you buy if you are branching out into the land of board-games-worth-playing.

Settlers of Catan is easily the most popular of the lesser known board games.  It contains a simple strategy, trading system, and is based on dice rolls of chance which “regular” board-gamers will be instantly familiar with.  This game is loads of fun for even the most skeptical of your family members.  My own father refused to play Catan for almost two years because he caught sight of the little houses and immediately thought of Monopoly, he then (I’m assuming) threw up in his mouth a little.  After being stuck with us for a solid week on a family vacation at the coast, we finally coaxed him into playing a couple of games.  And though he’ll probably never admit it, I can tell he liked it.

Players play colonists; building settlements, roads, and cities on their way to creating the largest civilization on the board.  Victory conditions are set by players, so there is no problem making the game shorter or longer as you wish.  Dice are rolled every turn, and this determines the resources that are gained by all players that turn.  Players are allowed to trade resources on their turn, in an attempt to get the resources they need to continue the advancement of their civilization.  This generally leads to no one trading with whoever is in the lead.

The base game is 3-4 players, but an expansion can be purchased to extend the game to 6 players.  After you get the basic game down, there are expansions available that add elements to the game and up the complexity.

Pandemic
1-4 player(s), ages 10 and up

Pandemic is easily one of my favorite board games.  In Pandemic, each player is a member of a team trying to stop a world-wide outbreak of diseases.  Pandemic is unique in the fact that all the players are working together against the “board”.  Unfortunately, in my experience, nine times out of ten the board crushes you and your co-players and the world becomes a disease infested orb of death.  The apocalypse aside, this game is a blast.  It’s even possible to play all the roles yourself against the board in a sort of solitaire mode.  Of course, it is much more fun with friends.

Each player is given a role card, which determines that player’s special skill for the entire game.  Once role cards are passed out, the players collaborate to figure out the best strategy to containing the viral threats while at the same time spending their actions to cure the disease.  Since roles change every game, no two strategies are alike.

The cities in which the diseases begin to break out are determined by chance through a deck of cards.  If a city that has been infected goes too long without being acted upon by the players, that city begins to infect the surrounding cities.  Since each player is only given four actions a turn, and diseases are spreading at the end of each turn, the clock is running against you.  This game has no dice, and as such, the resulting outcome of the game is determined by player choice alone.

Agricola
1-5 player(s), ages 12 and up

In Agricola, each player is a farmer.  Agricola is unique in that each player is given their own personal game board and is essentially affecting only their own play area until the game is over and scoring occurs.  You are not safe from competing player sabotage, however, as players may swipe actions you need before your turn occurs.  During a turn, a player has several actions available to them. Since each player is given their own personal game board, if you happen to have an OCD gamer in your group that screams and goes into seizures whenever someone touches his pieces (Hi Troy), this game is for you.

A middle board determines the available actions the players can take.  As the game progresses, more actions become available.  Once an action has been taken, it can not be taken again until all players have had a turn, players are essentially competing for actions throughout the game.

Troy said it best in reference to the “Gather Wood” action: “You lose your sheep because you can’t house the extras. You lose points for the unused spots on the board. You lose actions because you can’t grow your damn house to have a kid. All because Tamyria took the fucking wood before I could.”

All in all, this game is a lot of fun for both OCD and mentally stable players alike.

Lord of the Rings: The Confrontation
2 players, ages 12 and up

Let me preface this review by saying that I am not a LOTR fanatic.  I’ve seen the movies, of course, and tried to read the books in middle school, but somehow have never gotten back around to completing them.  That being said, this is probably one of the best two-player games that I’ve played.  The game borrows some elements from Stratego, and has a solid gaming foundation rather than relying on the LOTR license to sell the game.

As you’ve probably guessed, players play the good characters facing off against opposing evil characters.  Starting piece placement is determined by the respective player.  The good player wins if they get Frodo to the Mordor space or if the player controlling the evil pieces is unable to move, and the evil player wins if Frodo is killed or three evil characters make it into the Shire space.  Each player has to move a character forward every turn, if a character moves into a space occupied by an enemy, a battle occurs.  Players use a hand of cards to influence combat, playing one card each time combat occurs.  Each character piece has a numeric combat value as well as a special ability.  For instance, Gimli instantly defeats the Orcs, Borimir has a combat value of zero and if he is encountered in combat, both Borimir and the opposing piece are removed from the game.  Each piece has a unique ability and strategies each vary.

There is a lot of bluffing and baiting involved in a game where the pieces are hidden from the opposing player.  LOTR: The Confrontation is one of those games where players are eager to start the next game after the prior game ends.  Overall, the only complaint that I have with this game is that it is only two players, making it a game that does not get played much on board game night when there are more than two players present.

It may be worth noting that the “deluxe” version of this game contains an alternate play version that I have not covered here.

In conclusion…

If you haven’t enjoyed a board game in a while and are looking for some good social time with friends or family, I’d recommend starting a board game night.  It’s a great alternative to Movie Night, TV Night, or Video Game Night.  I watched with mute horror as my own weekends were becoming an anti-social montage of Xbox and Movies.

At risk of sounding like a commercial, if you are going to rush out and buy some board games, I’d recommend purchasing from  Boards and Bits.  They consistently have much lower prices than any other merchant I’ve come across, including the large scale online retailers.

Happy Gaming!